[THERE'S M0RE WITHIN]

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Thursday, September 21, 2006

..facticity..

Hell is other people.
-Jean Paul Sartre

I am trying to believe that all things would get better. SOON. For the past few weeks different kinds of people have been bugging me to no end. And it's just friggin' annoying sometimes. No matter how hard I try to understand the circumstances with which my patience is tested, it still gets the hell out of me. And the people, to whom I placed my trust so much, are the ones hurting me.

I've been thinking about what happened to us for the last couple of weeks, and it appears to me, that we are just wasting both of our time. My efforts are futile for you; I appear to be useless and insignificant. You know I'm good in seeing flaws in others, but in you I let all that flaws pass. I reason with myself that you just have too many problems to attend to. And my being sensitive about things shouldn't be your concern. I should understand. I didn't demand anything from you, because as you have said; you can't balance your academics and the other spheres of your non-existent life. It escapes you that I also get tired. Impatient. Angry. Ranting about our mistakes would lead us nowhere. Blaming you for not taking care of what we had, would just make me feel miserable. I know I had my faults too, but I take full responsibility for it. I don't lie just to make you feel better. I don't know what will happen next, but I hope you will realize what I am worth. Not a second of your time, not a face in your collection, not just someone to make you feel good about yourself, and not just someone that you can neglect. I am WAY MORE THAN THAT. But still, I am forever grateful for the time I spent with you. You taught me a lot of things, and you made me see life, beyond what I can see. What we had was incomparable. It is something that I will never ever forget.

And to the one who took or will take my place. Thank you, for making me see that I can't forever hold on to people that I love. Thank you, for making me feel the need to let go. You may or may not exist right now, but just the same, take good care of what you two have or will have.
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To you who only get to hear one side of the story. Don't blame it all on us. Ask the other person concern, you may find it shocking that we never even had the guts to abandon your cousin. That we try to stick with her even if all of our patience had gone up to our heads. Yes, we had our faults and we are sorry for that. And since your cousin is our friend, we respect you for having such kind of an attitude. If the urge of cursing or branding us names ever come to you again, feel free to say it to us personally. And just make sure that you are part of the story, not just some chic who wants to meddle with things that does not concern her in any way. If we have an attitude problem, yours is far way worse.

And to you my friend, forgive us if we gossip your faults around. It's not a gossip actually it is a FACT. And we didn't go and tell tales to people, it just so happen that they had the same experiences with you. So, you get the picture. You know how we are. You know how I am. I am always frank to your faults. I always confront you when the need arises. It's just that, I was not the one that you had a conflict with. If you were sensitive about it, you should have said sorry, but instead you wrote something offensive, and you had your cousin to aggravate the matter. Maybe you guys should talk face-to-face. And just a piece of advice hunny: BE OPEN TO CRITICISMS.
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We will always encounter people who'll inflict pain on us. Who will make our lives miserable, and who will test our character. But we should always remember the good things we get out from them. We should always commend the things that they have contributed to make us a better person. Yes, hell may be other people, but it is us who makes our own HEAVEN in every HELL that we meet.

+ sEnTimEntS p0uReD 0uT +
11:08 PM

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