[THERE'S M0RE WITHIN]

<body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener("load", function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <iframe src="http://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID=22937983&blogName=%5Eevery+girl+has+a+st0ry+t0+tell%5E&publishMode=PUBLISH_MODE_BLOGSPOT&navbarType=BLUE&layoutType=CLASSIC&searchRoot=http://bevz0311.blogspot.com/search&blogLocale=en_US&homepageUrl=http://bevz0311.blogspot.com/&vt=5893810728580407677" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" height="30px" width="100%" id="navbar-iframe" allowtransparency="true" title="Blogger Navigation and Search"></iframe> <div></div>

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

a l0ng p0st d0esn't mean i'm pissed..

Yesterday m0rning…

Bl0ckmate 1: bevz an0ng sabi ni d0ctri? Nam0ve ba?
Bevz: di k0 alam eh..di pa nman nya k0 tinetext…

..several h0urs after..

blockmate 2: bevz an0ng sabi ni d0ctri?
Bevz: sabi nya di pa raw nya xur kce di pa nya naka2usap si d0c v..kung wala man taung class sa Saturday magpa2ss pa rin tau..at may naisip pa xa..bka magactivity na lang daw tau..
Blockmate 2: huh?!..s0bra nman!

And then we were all disappointed. I guess workaholics really have the tendency to pass on their enjoyment for stress. I don’t have the faintest idea; as of now, as to how I will manage the piling projects assigned to us before this semester ends. I hate to complain, but there’s nothing left to do. As what Ayen have said: “pwedeng magreklamo, pero di pwedeng sumuko.” Crap! I wish I can do both.

12:30 p.m-M Faculty Room

Doc Tri: Ano ba kasing pinipilit niyo?
Kae: Monday na lang p0 un submissi0n.
Bevz: 0nga p0 khit 7:30 p0 ng umaga
Doc Tri: Pano un mga nagma2sters? Naku. Cge na nga.

Haha! Good always triumph over evil! We can always get what we want, when we know when and where to hit the right buttons. Doc Tri is the living proof that even rigid professors can bend their schedule a bit to accommodate a little room for their students to breathe. I always have the position of liking and disliking her at the same time, but at this very moment I can only say…PAKISS NGA DOC TRI!..waha3!=)

It’s funny when you get to see your life transpiring in another person’s stories. Perhaps, that thing about soul mates is true. I’m not an advocate of paranormal or pseudo-science or whatever you call it, there’s just this thing about connection. It’s not the romantic stuffs that you see on the movie screens. No. That’s not what I’m talking about. It’s the platonic feeling of having someone to talk to, and then realizing that what happened to you had also happened to her but some things are just twisted so you won’t have the exact same experience. Interpersonal relationship would tell you that people have a need for affiliation, so maybe that is the reason why I can easily disclose myself to her. Although she keeps on telling me that she has no future in counseling, but I’m seeing the exact opposite. Sorry girl for disapproving your better judgment..haha! I can talk to her for hours without getting tired of talking and listening and laughing and crying and mumbling. She always sees the other side and that’s good because from time to time I need to have a devil’s advocate by my side (evil grin).

This goes for all the people that I encounter everyday. I would like to apologize if I am being crappy nowadays. It means that I am too preoccupied with a lot of stuffs; things that you may know and know nothing about, that I tend to oversee the good side of having a tedious lifestyle. Pardon me if I say things that contradict your opinions and beliefs. I am molded to be blunt; I was raised and known that way. Changes don’t happen overnight. I am exerting effort, but sometimes it’s not enough. If you were hurt in some way or another with what I said; forget about it, that doesn’t matter to me. I just said that matter-of-factly. I don’t take it against you or your capabilities so you shouldn’t be doing that to yourself either. That’s illogical when you know you’re dealing with me. Forgive me if I tend to be childish at times, that’s because I want to feel that I am being taken care of. I do most of the nurturing and mature things in the groups that I belong to, so don’t get surprised if I want to unleash the child within me. It’s hard to be strong and stoic always, being childish is just my own way of releasing tension and stress. Don’t get annoyed because it doesn’t happen everyday, and you’ll miss it once it’s gone.

One last thing, I’ll be doing my intensive counseling tomorrow!!! Wish me luck!!=)

+ sEnTimEntS p0uReD 0uT +
4:46 AM

| Sunday, January 28, 2007

..success!!..

..success an week na 't0..bkit??..bkit??!!..dhil s0brang daming ginawa!!..pamatay!..buti na lang at napagtant0 k0 na ganit0 talaga ang buhay estujante..dpat magpakahay0k sa pag-aaral..tsk3..gayunpaman, nagpa2salmat pa rin ak0..khit gust0 k0 ng lamunin lhat ng libr0 sa library pra may mailabas lang ak0 na related lit para sa thesis pr0p k0..khit na gs2 k0 ng humilik sa 0blic0n class k0..at khit gs2 k0 ng idiagn0se an sarili k0 ng mental retardati0n sa pers0nality assessment class k0..para makatakas sa kamandag ni d0ct0r trinidad..an sklap tlga..ngay0n k0 tul0y naiisip..bkit ba k0 nagpsych?!..haha!

..cge2..dhil pinangak0 k0 sa sarili k0 na hindi na k0 masyad0ng magre2klam0..(0o, may ta0ng nagwi2sh ng gnun.at ak0 un..waha3!)..e2 na lang..e2 na lang an basahin niy0..

buti na lang at 0bjectives an test sa law..dhil khit isang article wala ak0ng naaral dhil sa duty k0 sa j0b fair..hindi ak0 nagn0sebleed sa pageexplain ng cases..haha!..
sa s0brang panga2rir k0 ng chapter 1..sum0bra pa ng 5 an related lit k0..
sinipag ak0 gmwa ng thesis..nakaapekt0 ata un gam0t ng h0t0il..ginawang masunurin an mga brain cells k0.waha3!
nakapagb0nding pa kme ng bestfriend k0 khp0n..khit na pareh0 na kmeng mukhang bangkay dhil sa sch0ol requirements..(sa su2n0d f0otspa nman an gwin nten chi..=))
umeepekt0 un paghiga k0 sa sahig na nakatula2 sa ceiling..0o..mej0 weird xa..per0 nawa2la un stress k0 dhil dun..try m0..maglgay ka nga lang ng mahi2gaan..malamig na kasi..hehe
nakuha k0 na un gs2 k0ng s0undtrack ng grey's anat0my..thanks kay suzy..
nakapunta na rin ak0 sa kfc na may dessert bar..at an sarap nung sundae na nasa prang fl0wer na waffle..astig!..slamat kay em..nasatisfy an mga alaga k0..waha3!
masaya nman sa megamall..kahit na kinalaban nmen ni ej an mga sa2kyan palabas ng parking..feeling nmen k0tse din kme..=)

..at bukas retreat na nmen!..yah0o!..pahinga nman at nang makapagreflect sa mga pinagga2wa k0 sa buhay k0..makapagnilay nilay na nga..at baka magbag0 pa ang isip k0..maisipan k0 pang magwidraw sa psych at maging 0ut 0f sch0ol y0uth na lang..haha!..bka maisipan k0 ding magwidraw sa masteral pr0gram k0..bka lang..per0 wag nman sana ak0ng t0pakin at magpadal0s dal0s ng desisy0n..ilang buh0k na rin ang nalagas k0 dhil sa masteral k0 na yan..tsk2..di sila mabi2gyan ng justice kapg nagwidraw ak0..haha!..an sarap matul0g na natap0s na ang chap 1..self made instruments naman p0pr0belmahin k0..per0 saka na yan..sa ngay0n..sa kama na k0 hi2ga, di na k0 nakatula2..nakapikit na..malay k0..bka nakangiti pa k0 ngay0n habang tul0g..

+ sEnTimEntS p0uReD 0uT +
6:16 AM

| Friday, December 29, 2006

..late na i2..=)

partner-partner..hihi

wack0s!

..Last December 22 was our High School reunion-slash-Christmas party. It felt good that I was able to see again some of my classmates that I haven't seen for three years. Well, they haven't changed that much. It's either they gained weight, they lost some. They've grown their hair long, they kept it short. As for the boys? They haven't changed a bit. Haha! Mindless of those minor changes, wisdom remained wisdom. Despite the diversity of school orientations that we have now, we remained wisdom at heart. We are still as noisy and as boisterous as ever!haha! Of course pusoy dos wasn't forgotten, the pusoy Olympiads still held their title... (ehem!) I was really glad that they organized such a party, because it was really refreshing for me. Really. Really. Refreshing. thanks t0 malin, dani, charm, cge na nga si ivy na rin..haha!

= Mikhail is still into singing. Despite our not-so-good comments before, he is still passionate about it. Talk about fighting spirit. Waha3!

= Ivy the “tambutso girl” (*evil grin*) is getting slimmer and slimmer. I think getting stressed is an effective fat burner...hihi

=Jenny is an out of school youth right now. She's shifting courses, from speech therapy to commerce majoring in accountancy. Harnessing interpersonal skills can really be mind boggling. Haha!

= Rachy has a boyfriend! Haha!we were teasing her that night, but chi believe me we are so happy for you. Finally.=) I admire you for working and studying at the same time, but can still look pretty. I think it comes naturally. *wink!*

= Charles is still into delivering speeches. And of course, he still doesn't know the word quit. Go Charles! Haha!

= Lance as usual, brought with him passé jokes. It’s different when he's the one delivering the punch lines, “mas corny” haha! But he's dearly loved because he brings smiles to everyone.

= Jose is still and will always be the star of the section. Well, I guess he deserves the title with all that waving and smiling. =)

= Febbie remained the "laughing maniac." We all laugh every time she laughs, it's like an epidemic. Hihi..(see?)

= Radha still has her famous hand gesture. Still as feminine as ever. *wink!*

..So basically everybody remained like they were way back in High School. I think no matter how old we get, we will still be the little High School girls and boys, who love spending time with each other. We will still be the little boys and girls who see life one day at a time. We may grow old and be responsible for a lot of things, but when we are in each other's company we can always be ourselves. We can always forget the hassles of life and just be merry. That's the reason why I love being with them, because I can be as childish as I can get, and they wouldn’t care at all. =P

+ sEnTimEntS p0uReD 0uT +
2:46 AM

| Wednesday, December 06, 2006

..0bsessi0ns..

My c0usin lend me a dvd 0f this K0rean n0vela “It started with a kiss.” I saw it a c0uple 0f times in abs-cbn..its being aired every Saturday and Sunday. The first time I watched it, Jeannie (the lead actress) reminded me s0 much 0f my girl's female lead(by which I f0rg0t her name in that series..darn! what was it again?!) and Michael (the lead act0r) reminded me s0 much 0f Julianne (0f c0urse I w0uldn't f0rget his name..haha!). I wasn't h0oked that much because I wasn't able t0 f0ll0w the st0ry, but when I watched the full length 0f it…I c0uldn't help but ran it 0ver and 0ver in my head. The pl0t is really entertaining, th0ugh its much m0re shall0w than My Girl's. But I really, really l0ve it!!! Ariel Lin (Jeannie) is really c0mical and J0e Cheng (Michael) is…I d0n't kn0w h0w t0 describe him…but I like..l0ve...him!!!!..haha!..see??and he's cute t0o. His character in the series p0ssesses a 200 i.q, which by the way is s0meh0w imp0ssible..haha!..he's the smart-seri0us-cute-arr0gant but sweet type 0f guy. I kn0w the character is ficti0nal, but I w0uld like t0 think that there's s0meone 0ut there wh0 resembles Michael's wh0le being. (wishful thinking.tsk.)...Sigh...

...h0w c0mf0rting that hug must have been..hihi..=)...

i've been busy f0r the last c0uple 0f days because 0f the centennial celebrati0n. I haven't rested f0r ab0ut a week, eventh0ugh classes were suspended.F0rtunately, Reming wasn't able t0 further t0rture my existence by p0uring heavy rain and bl0wing its mighty wind. I was really frightened th0ugh, the thing that happened t0 Bic0l…it was really scary. I'm just grateful that Reming changed its mind, and did n0t went all the way t0 0ur little place, and even in Manila...=)

Last Sunday was the grandest 0pening 0f St. Sch0lastica's Centennial Celebrati0n. There was a mass in the m0rning at Nin0y Aquin0 Stadium which was really jam packed with students, parents and guests. Then after that, there was this “fun walk.” (I didn’t get the idea 0f it being fun 0.o) Nevertheless, we tried 0ur very best t0 walk with a smile under the blazing heat 0f the sun. At least they had the decency t0 give us ice creams after the fun walk, and it was get all y0u can…s0…yeah…maybe it was really meant t0 be fun, because 0f the ice cream thingy at the end 0f the walk…haha!...later that aftern0on I attended the Alumnae H0mecoming. I was 0ne 0f the usherettes f0r that event. It was really tiring!!!! We had t0 stand fr0m 1:00-7:00 in the evening. Luckily, I was stati0ned at gate 5, the kuya guards there were s0 kind in 0ffering me and Debbie a chair t0 sit 0n. The f0od was fantabul0us!!...Spanish t0 japanese cuisines were all spread in the buffet table, and there were 100 cakes!!! And my fav0rite mang0 crepe…yum!..well, 0bvi0usly I ate a l0t..haha!...the 0nly d0wnfall 0f that event: I wasn't able t0 see Cory Aquin0 (bummer!)…but I saw Mitch Valdez th0ugh (0.o)…wh0 the hell cares??..haha!

+ sEnTimEntS p0uReD 0uT +
6:13 AM

| Thursday, October 26, 2006

..an0ther day thinking..

Since it is sembreak and boredom is already taking its toll on me; my mind now seems to be having its own mind for thinking thoughts buried deep in my unconscious. And thoughts of what happened days, months, years ago keep on popping out canceling each other. The effect of thinking as a hobby is never good, it either leaves you dumbfounded, confused, or simply "you want to think things thru again" stage. Mental exercise is more exhausting than burning fats. Hehe.

~Upon chatting with vanity 2 nights ago, I came across that thing you call "personal legend." And yes, vanity I was so inspired by you and your "ehem!" that I am now thinking of what I can do for the betterment of society or the people around me. And up until now, I can't seem to think of any. Pity me; I am so apathetic that even my brain cells are clamoring for some inspiration. I guess my personal legend will pop out through the help of divine intervention, which I doubt would happen.haha!

~My mornings are fully dedicated to household chores which I am trying to escape since the age of 10, but unfortunately my mom always has the last laugh. The only thing that I enjoy doing is feeding my puppies; they seem to understand my sentiments. And my evenings are very well spent in front of the tube (TV programs nowadays are so dramatic! If you see me watching, you can count the number of times I roll my eyes because of annoyance...tsk3), and texting (the joy of having technology around..haha!).

~My skill for semantics is diminishing by a quarter everyday. I tried reading "Chronicles of a Death Foretold" and I had a hard time understanding the message the author is trying to convey. Its either he is so full of himself for thinking that the plot of his so-called novel is getting somewhere and the characters are really intertwined to inconceivable mishaps or I am just so cynical, thinking that the book is just a piece of crap. (evil..haha!)

~I found out that the scientific name for kissing is "philematology." I didn't think that someone would still have the time to invent a scientific name for such a passionate hobby.haha! and that clamdiggers are jeans. Thanks to kris aquino, my fashion i.q is starting to increase bit by bit.=p

~I have been thinking of myself for the last couple of days (so narcissistic!) and I came upon a list of what I have been and what I have been not, the list frequently changes, that even I get confuse.

WHAT I HAVE BEEN 1-0-1
>A crammer (uhuh!up until now I'm still under the spell of doing things at the 11th hour)
>A professional procrastinator
>Someone who candidly tells other people their faults, without even realizing the effect of being so blunt.
>Apathetic. Ermm…I simply do not care.haha!
>Perky, when I am around people who can spell f-u-n in different ways.
>Cynical. I learned that the absence of doubt does not mean you are knowledgeable but it's the other way around.
>Can do things simultaneously. Who says we can't do that?! We simply just don’t give the same amount of attention to everything that we do, so it shows that people are capable of doing things all at the same time. (Are thinking and talking not two different tasks?)
>Can live 4 separate lives, without having to worry that each life might bump into each other. Haha!
>Can get the things that she wants without having to exert so much effort, but in the end realizing that she no longer wants 'em.
>Worries so much, to the point of becoming agitated.
>Can stand emotional distress until the nth level.
>Can isolate herself from the crowd that she belongs to without feeling introverted.
>A photo enthusiast

~~WHAT I HAVE BEEN NOT 1-0-1~~
>Sensitive (I should be though, coz I'm learning the art of human nature. And this trait should go with my job description.)
>Poker faced. I usually get into petty arguments because of this. Can they blame me for having such a boorish and not charming face?haha!
>A sweetheart. Nope honey. That just ain't me.
>Open. I talk a lot, but when it comes to private matters, my mouth automatically shuts up.
>A person who dwells so much about other people's sentiments. I'm becoming too numb to mind other people's whims.
>Your shoulder to cry on. Nah, I think I need a break.
>Your partner, your confidante.
>Careful. Mistakes are always welcome, though sometimes it's kinda irritating when you commit the same mistakes over and over again.
>Your doormat. I am so o0o0o0ovverrrr that.

I changed my mind. I am still an advocate of mental exhaustion. After all, when the sun had set and our day clothes have been shred off we all go back to our own worlds, to our own paradises. And where else could it be but in our own heads.

+ sEnTimEntS p0uReD 0uT +
11:35 PM

| Thursday, September 21, 2006

..facticity..

Hell is other people.
-Jean Paul Sartre

I am trying to believe that all things would get better. SOON. For the past few weeks different kinds of people have been bugging me to no end. And it's just friggin' annoying sometimes. No matter how hard I try to understand the circumstances with which my patience is tested, it still gets the hell out of me. And the people, to whom I placed my trust so much, are the ones hurting me.

I've been thinking about what happened to us for the last couple of weeks, and it appears to me, that we are just wasting both of our time. My efforts are futile for you; I appear to be useless and insignificant. You know I'm good in seeing flaws in others, but in you I let all that flaws pass. I reason with myself that you just have too many problems to attend to. And my being sensitive about things shouldn't be your concern. I should understand. I didn't demand anything from you, because as you have said; you can't balance your academics and the other spheres of your non-existent life. It escapes you that I also get tired. Impatient. Angry. Ranting about our mistakes would lead us nowhere. Blaming you for not taking care of what we had, would just make me feel miserable. I know I had my faults too, but I take full responsibility for it. I don't lie just to make you feel better. I don't know what will happen next, but I hope you will realize what I am worth. Not a second of your time, not a face in your collection, not just someone to make you feel good about yourself, and not just someone that you can neglect. I am WAY MORE THAN THAT. But still, I am forever grateful for the time I spent with you. You taught me a lot of things, and you made me see life, beyond what I can see. What we had was incomparable. It is something that I will never ever forget.

And to the one who took or will take my place. Thank you, for making me see that I can't forever hold on to people that I love. Thank you, for making me feel the need to let go. You may or may not exist right now, but just the same, take good care of what you two have or will have.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To you who only get to hear one side of the story. Don't blame it all on us. Ask the other person concern, you may find it shocking that we never even had the guts to abandon your cousin. That we try to stick with her even if all of our patience had gone up to our heads. Yes, we had our faults and we are sorry for that. And since your cousin is our friend, we respect you for having such kind of an attitude. If the urge of cursing or branding us names ever come to you again, feel free to say it to us personally. And just make sure that you are part of the story, not just some chic who wants to meddle with things that does not concern her in any way. If we have an attitude problem, yours is far way worse.

And to you my friend, forgive us if we gossip your faults around. It's not a gossip actually it is a FACT. And we didn't go and tell tales to people, it just so happen that they had the same experiences with you. So, you get the picture. You know how we are. You know how I am. I am always frank to your faults. I always confront you when the need arises. It's just that, I was not the one that you had a conflict with. If you were sensitive about it, you should have said sorry, but instead you wrote something offensive, and you had your cousin to aggravate the matter. Maybe you guys should talk face-to-face. And just a piece of advice hunny: BE OPEN TO CRITICISMS.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We will always encounter people who'll inflict pain on us. Who will make our lives miserable, and who will test our character. But we should always remember the good things we get out from them. We should always commend the things that they have contributed to make us a better person. Yes, hell may be other people, but it is us who makes our own HEAVEN in every HELL that we meet.

+ sEnTimEntS p0uReD 0uT +
11:08 PM

| Tuesday, August 15, 2006

It's nice to wake up in the morning when all your worries are gone; when you can just enjoy your day, without thinking about the things or events that have stressed you the most. Pardon my sappiness, I'm just happy as of the moment…^_^ well. Yes school is still getting the hell out of me. That's why I haven't been on line for a couple of weeks now. I've been reading a lot, and writing a lot. But even though that's the case, I'm still ok.

Things may not come as easy as they should. I realized that now. Yes, it WAS painful, difficult even life wrenching to some extent. But then, if you were able to grasp the reason why it all happened, then you will be able to move on; stronger, tougher, and wiser than before. And being too damn scared of getting hurt is the lamest excuse that a person can give. How did I know? ~~I was there before~~. And I tell you, it's no fun. Well, some people may raise their eyebrows at you, some may condemn you, some may smile at you and some may support you. I know the opinion of others gravely affect us. But that should not hinder us from doing the things that we want; especially if it entails our happiness. I just realized it now, minding other people's opinion so much is a self inflicted pain. Hehe. And dwelling too much about the future is not a big help either. It will either leave you helpless or afraid. Seizing the present moment, as they have come to exist is the right way to live.

Forgive me for writing this. As I have said, I'm just happy...^_^

There are a lot of things that I should be writing about. Hell, I was so busy for the past few days that events just keep on popping out for me to write. But I'll tell you about them some other time. The only thing that I could tell you is that; going to the national library again is a big no-no for me. That would be my last resort for whatever paper that I might be writing in the future. Damn that place!..Haha!

+ sEnTimEntS p0uReD 0uT +
8:31 PM

|

It's nice to wake up in the morning when all your worries are gone; when you can just enjoy your day, without thinking about the things or events that have stressed you the most. Pardon my sappiness, I'm just happy as of the moment…^_^ well. Yes school is still getting the hell out of me. That's why I haven't been on line for a couple of weeks now. I've been reading a lot, and writing a lot. But even though that's the case, I'm still ok.

Things may not come as easy as they should. I realized that now. Yes, it WAS painful, difficult even life wrenching to some extent. But then, if you were able to grasp the reason why it all happened, then you will be able to move on; stronger, tougher, and wiser than before. And being too damn scared of getting hurt is the lamest excuse that a person can give. How did I know? ~~I was there before~~. And I tell you, it's no fun. Well, some people may raise their eyebrows at you, some may condemn you, some may smile at you and some may support you. I know the opinion of others gravely affect us. But that should not hinder us from doing the things that we want; especially if it entails our happiness. I just realized it now, minding other people's opinion so much is a self inflicted pain. Hehe. And dwelling too much about the future is not a big help either. It will either leave you helpless or afraid. Seizing the present moment, as they have come to exist is the right way to live.

Forgive me for writing this. As I have said, I'm just happy.

There are a lot of things that I should be writing about. Hell, I was so busy for the past few days that events just keep on popping out for me to write. But I'll tell you about them some other time. The only thing that I could tell you is that; going to the national library again is a big no-no for me. That would be my last resort for whatever paper that I might be writing in the future. Damn that place!..Haha!

+ sEnTimEntS p0uReD 0uT +
8:02 PM

|